Instructions for Communicating your kink!
Helping your partner know where you stand.
Kink Communication List
Step One: Get Evaluating (Giving)!
Go through the list of activities below and for each one, circle whether you want to do it, you are willing to do it, or there is no way you are going to do it on the giving end.
Step Two: Get Evaluating (Receiving)!
Go through a second time with a different-colored writing implement and circle whether you want to do each activity, you are willing to do it, or there is no way you are going to do it on the receiving end.
Step Three: Get Discovering!
Now meet with your lover and compare notes! For anything that you feel you are willing to do discuss your degree of willingness. Is it a “Yes, I love you and although it may not be my cup of tea, I’m all for it” or is it a “Well, ok, I guess we could”? Rate your willing-tos on a scale of 1 to 5-I being “Yes, I love you, let’s go for it,” and 5 being “I guess I can suffer through this.” I would add anything on the willing- to list that is a 4 or 5 to your no-way list for now. You can revisit these later.
Step Four: Get Conversing and Researching!
Ask questions, do more research, and be sure to go deeper into specifics for each topic. If you are unsure what an activity is, read further in this book or Google it!
Step Five: Get Started!
This Form gives you a map, helping you to see where you and your lover can play together. All of the places where your want-tos match up are great places to start. Stay away from the no-ways and always respect them. Keep an open mind that willing-tos can turn into want-tos and sometimes nos. There are even times when nos turn into willing-tos, but do not pressure your partner into this. Pressure only creates resentment and distance.
Step Six: Get Educated!
Now that you have your places of consent, read the rest of this book, take classes, get private coaching, and participate in learning labs.
Step Seven: Get Reevaluating!
I advise you to go through this form again three months from the time you first took it to reevaluate where you are.
Above are the steps for the quiz, and below is the quiz its self. To take you and your partner to the next level of your sexual journey!
Click here to get started.